Looking for a better way to get your needs met at work? Try this…
We can often end up in situations where relationships in work can feel unproductive and as if we are talking across purposes. This can be due to a clash of cultures or a difference in working styles and we can end up thinking that we are working with idiots or people who just don’t get it.
Most people think they are communicating clearly and on one level they are. However, Marshall Rosenberg created a model called Nonviolent Communication (NVC) that allows us to strip away the noise and really get to the nub of what we are looking for under the surface. It’s amazing how a little time learning how to listen can make everyone seem more intelligent.
It is a simple process but it takes time and a little practice to get to grips with.
Try it, if you give it a go I guarantee that you will reap the rewards and possibly change your life.
The simple process works this way:
- Start with a clean Observation of one things that someone does that is not making life wonderful for you.
- State the Feeling that is alive in you when this thing is done.
- Connect to the human Need that you are sitting with that is not being met in that moment.
- Think of a clear and actionable request that you could make of the other person to help you meet your need.
..and remember, leave out judgement and diagnosis. The win-win here is where all of our needs are met, not when we just get someone to do what we think we want them to.
This all sounds super-simple and it actually is but of course there are deeper layers to it.
Drop me a line if you would like to learn more. I run a 2 hour intro session for groups to help people explore the process. Alternatively, check out Rosenbergs videos on youtube, his books or the CNVC.org for more material.
Good luck!