Between the lines

What are you resisting or struggling with today?

A difficult stakeholder dynamic?
A frustrating team?
A business challenge?
Your manager?
Your kids?
Fitting in?
Being you?
Slowing down?
Speeding up?
Saying Yes?
Saying No?

Where do you feel that resistance in your body?

Are you shoulders tense?
Does your brain hurt?
Is your jaw clenched?
Do your palms sweat?
Or maybe something else?

What do you notice about your mindset as you consider that resistance?

Are you the hero, coming to rescue someone who is resisting?
Are you the helpless victim of someone who is persecuting you?
Are you the persecutor, judging others for their perceived failings?
Or something else?

Resistance is part of us. It’s okay to give it some space within us, acknowledge it and include it.

Resistance often comes from when we believe our version of the truth or an identity we have created for ourself is being challenged.

Making space for our inner resistance, accepting it, noticing it, and listening to what it has to tell us allows us to develop a different relationship with it.

When we notice resistance in others, we might first look for the resistance in ourselves in that moment: in our bodies and our mindsets. What is the secret message? Does it come from our conscious selves or long forgotten version of ourselves? Is it still helpful to us? 

The same applies in organisations, in teams and with clients. Resistance has a message from the system. What is it trying to tell us?

I’m scared.
I’m not ready yet.
I need to be understood.
I’m overwhelmed.  
I don’t trust you yet.

Force and frustration is unlikely to help.

By developing a different relationship with our own resistance, we might start to think of wider resistance differently, in a kinder and less judgemental way.

The resistance is never the problem it is merely a sign post to the starting line.